Yesterday afternoon I lay down exhausted after tackling a combination of radio scripts and production with too little sleep in between.  The collapse of evangelicalism and a variety of economic and environmental topics were making my head throb.  I dreamed that I was in a mega church, watching a choir.  Someone had figured out how to harness 3-D IMAX - style movie technology without the glasses, and they used it for graphics behind the choir.  As they sang, images of giant barracuda sprang at the audience, snapping razor sharp teeth in front of my nose.  I squeezed my eyes shut, being too exhausted to deal with enormous snapping fish. 

Randy Alcorn provided some relief with a far simpler presentation.  After the killer fish song was over, he got up, strummed an acoustic guitar and sang “Everybody Hurts” in 4/4 time rather than R.E.M.’s 6/8.  I woke up sobbing.

This Monday, a college basketball fan will sit in a prime seat at Ford Field to watch the NCAA Championship game.  The going price for a seat near the action is $3,612.  Disregard the time spent parking, waiting in line for food and visiting the bathroom.  The actual 40 minutes of game time will cost this fan $90 per minute.

A different fan will opt for a ticket farther from the court, in the upper sideline section for $275.  This fan will pay $6.87 per minute of regulation game time.

If instead of basketball, I were to visit the multiplex near my house to see Monsters vs. Aliens in IMAX 3D this weekend, it would be far more cost effective per minute.  Disregard the time spent buying popcorn, standing in line and watching advertisements before the previews.  The cost of actual run time is just over fourteen cents per minute.

Finally, consider a Nuclearity listener who attended the Weekend to Remember Conference in Missouri last weekend.  This listener signed up as part of the “Nuke Group,” receiving a discounted rate.

This listener invested less per minute than an attendee of the NCAA game or Monsters vs. Aliens.  They paid twelve cents per minute in the actual conference, hearing world class speakers and engaging in romantic projects with their spouse.  This does not include the romantic time this couple spent together at lunch or during the planned Saturday date night. 

The Weekend to Remember can help you build your marriage on a solid foundation.  You’ll learn how to communicate better, resolve conflict and heal from past hurts.  You’ll learn how to grow closer physically and emotionally. 

There are conferences scheduled across the country and it’s likely you’ll find one nearby.  In order to attend at the discounted rate of twelve cents per minute, sign up at least ten days before the conference begins. 

This means those living near Little Rock, Kalamazoo, Atlanta, Portland, Seattle, Corpus Christi, and Lake Tahoe need to act soon, since the conferences are coming to their areas in a couple weeks.  There are also several conferences throughout California in April.  To find out more, click on the link at www.Nuclearity.org or go straight to the Nuke Group page.

The new Nuclearity episode, “In the Show (You Love a Lucy part 3)” is now available.  It includes the story of a little kid playing a big guitar and features Gary Chapman, Tim Kimmel, Bob Lepine and Jon Foreman from Switchfoot.

I’m hoping to bring the Lucy theme to a close with one more episode.  I need to quote a line I remember hearing on my iPod a few years ago and just looked up.  It nicely cracks open the topic I want to explore:

 “The greatest sitcom characters - which is to say, the funniest and the most riveting to watch - are cheerful at the same time that they’re self absorbed, and galling and oblivious to the destruction left in their wake.  Think Homer Simpson, Michael Scott on The Office, Ted Baxter from Mary Tyler Moore, Larry David, the entire cast of Seinfeld.  And you know what else is like that?  The United States of America.”

Sarah Vowell, This American Life #328, March 16, 2007